Ennui anyone?!

Life's stuck into a rut! Work is getting predictable, down to the number of crises per day. Social life seems to be revolving around the same people. Family life follows the same pattern everyday. All of the above is enjoyable, thoroughly, of course. But none of it is novel. Is this what people mean when they say, "you're settled now"? Why would that be desirable?

The Big Bang Theory

I started watching "The big bang theory" on CBS mondays last season, which happened to be their first season. Basically, its about a quartet of nerds and their lives. Its hilarious without being crass, and therefore thoroughly enjoyable.
There's this Indian character called Rajesh Koothrapalli, who's different in that he's a refreshing change from the other Indian characters on TV. He gets some good lines, they've done a good enough job that I can identify with his Indian roots. They've given him character quirks that make him funny but its not a reflection on his nationality. I'd recommend watching this if you're tired of all the 7-11-running, weirdly-accented, hinduism-touting "Indians" on TV.
Another one is "Royal Pains" on USA network where the character Divya seems different, but I haven't watched enough of it to make a decision yet whether she's stereotypical or not.
Maybe Indians have come into their own? On the small screen atleast?

The King is dead!

For those of you who haven't been near a media source for the last week... those four people vacationing in the deepest Congo... Michael Jackson is dead. That news is bound to cause a lot of emotions in a lot of people. Fans of his music will miss him, criticisers of his lifestyle will be vindicated and life in general will go on as before.
As for me, I do like some of MJ's songs, but I've never been a fan (taken here in the actual meaning of the word), so his death comes with no deep feelings. His music didn't intersect with my life in any significant way, so his death hasn't caused any waves in my existence. But from people all around me, I hear feelings of loss... for the music mostly. And I wonder, did I miss something?
I've heard MJ's songs... thriller, bad, dangerous are the only albums coming to mind... and I can only recall 4-5 songs from them... combined. But ask me anything about this person and all I know are media highlights... jackson five, LaToya, Janet, Joe, neverland, childabuse allegations... and thats about it.
What about the music did I miss that is causing outpourings of grief from the most unexpected quarter (my french colleague was grieving!)? I'm trying to understand the appeal by listening to old songs being played on BET (any channel actually, but BET plays them back-to-back for hours). Let me see if I can actually feel some sympathy for a tortured soul (not my words) if I can identify what a musical genius (again, not my words) MJ was supposed to be.
But I fear this is one trend that is going to pass me by, so years from now when someone asks me where I was when I heard the news of MJ's death, I can honestly say, "Ummmmm... Dunno", and not feel ashamed of it.

Death of a Star!

Was watching the Oscars telecast last night, not paying too much attention, but generally listening and watching all the same. They came to the part where they paid tribute to all those people who died in 2008. And one name shocked the hell out of me... Michael Crichton. He's one of my favourite writers, and I've read every novel he's written, even the one as Michael Douglas. The shock was not because he's dead, but because I didn't hear of it. Apparently, he was fighting throat cancer and his death was very sudden, on Nov4th 2008. I hadn't been to his website for a while and so missed the news. And I haven't been watching much TV, but enough atleast that I've heard of Octo-mom. They can give hours of coverage to some stupid lady who has 14 kids or something, but they cannot spare a minute to pay homage to a writer whose work is beyond description? Seriously, wouldn't that make better copy? This is the same media who covered Princess Diana's death to death but relegated Mother Theresa's demise to a half-minute condolence news. I wonder who the editors are who sit around and make the decision as to what goes on the news and what doesn't. Idiots!
I'm really bummed that I won't be able to read any more work this genius would've written.
May his soul rest in peace!

Heel Baby!

Kids are like dogs, atleast until they learn to talk.
I have a 16-month-old daughter, Arushi, and all my observations are based on her behaviour, so maybe you want to make your own conclusions based on your kid's peculiarities.
1) She was much more interested in shoes than anything else on the floor until she was almost 1. And they were mostly for chewing. And she follows everyone around dodging their feet.
2) She does a great job fetching things from around the room. " Arushi, go get the ball; Arushi, get that book; Arushi, get me that pillow". And she obeys instantly if she can actually recognise the thing asked for. The pillow took some time.
3) She insists on being rewarded for the dumbest things, over and over again. Like after she learned to climb off a low chair. She wanted a round of applause (and I mean vigorous hand-clapping) and a "Good job, Arushi" every time, for the entire first month she'd learnt this trick. And we thought of her development in terms of how many "parlour tricks" she's learnt.
4) She wants to eat food thats on your plate, even if the same food is on hers. And food on the ground is more interesting than food on a plate.
5) She has a water bottle and a snack cup thats placed on a low table so she can reach it anytime in case she's hungry or thirsty, without having to go through adults. And adults refill the water bottle on a regular basis.
6) She's very possessive about her mother's "stuff". Nobody can pick up mom's bag except mom, unless you want a reprimand and the said item being pulled out of your hands and handed over to mom.
7) She's very interested in batting at dangly things, like earrings and ponytails and dupattas.
8) She doesn't talk yet, but can make her feelings known very clearly. Like walking to the refridgerator and gesturing until you open it and feed her something, or standing near the door and looking at you expectantly for a walk.
9) She loves chasing birds even if she never gets within 2 feet of one.
10) She loves "rough-housing" it with mom.
I have many more, but you get the general idea. Let me know if you've come across peculiar ones.
oh, and another thing, she really loves me unconditionally, atleast for now. I scold her for something and she's crying... and then wants to be picked up and soothed... by me. She's a major ego-booster. I come home from work, and she runs to me for a hug and kiss.
I wish she'd retain some of these dog-like qualities.

To go or not to go!

We've had some layoffs at work, actually quite a few, and through some magic of fate, bad management or resume, I was spared and allowed to continue the mayhem I usually generate around here. But a lot of my colleagues weren't as lucky and were "let go". This was the first large-scale "layoff" I've been through in my years of being employed. Today, I got to thinking what exactly my feelings were about the whole event and here are a few conclusions...
1) My primary feeling is relief that I still have a place to go to where they appreciate my work and the hours I put in. I like feeling useful and that I have a purpose everyday.
2) Since I was the last person hired in my group and not the one to go, there's a sense of achievement that the powers that be really recognise my skill set and want me to hang around.
3) Tremendous relief that now i don't have to go through the whole "H1B to H4" process and the subsequent job search that my out-of-work colleagues are mired into.
4) That continuing paycheck is suuuuweeeeeet.
5) The boredom that i went through being home for a while will not have to be endured again.
Those were just the positive points. There were quite a few negative ones too...
1) I miss my colleagues.
2) I donot appreciate the tremendous workload thats come upon me as a result.
3) The relief at keeping my job is balanced by the fear that the next round may see me being kicked out.
4) Surprisingly, there's a lot of guilt that I was the "one who stayed". I was the last one hired in my group, but others much older and more experienced were let go, and since I even had a nice, cushy, fall-back option if I were laid off, I feel guilty that I wasn't the one to go.
And thats the feeling thats bothering me the most. In the cut-throat world of corporate business, there should be no guilt about being a survivor. Relief and a sense of lightness, definitely, but no lingering sadness or the feeling of injustice done to others. Everyone around me tells me that I should be grateful and happy that I am still employed, but the feeling refuses to go away. I keep thinking any mistake I make now will make my boss doubt his judgement in keeping me on. Unfair on a boss who's fairly competant at what he does, I know, but that feeling is going to weigh on me for a while. Self-confidence crisis, anyone? I know time will take care of that too, but this episode has made me realise how ill-fitted I am to being in any kind of managerial position. I was never the cut-throat, take-risks, overly-ambitious type, but this just added another notch in my intent to stay on the technical track. The term "individual contributer" was made for me, and I think I'll stick to that for a while.

Not even a quantum of solace!

Everyone is excited about the new Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace", that released last week in the US. Everyone that is, except me. We went out for dinner last weekend and ran into some friends who were going to go watch this "movie event". The discussion automatically turned to whether the movie was watchable or not and what stunts there would be in the movie and which of the wonderful technological advances shown in the movie were actually accessible to the common man. All wonderful bond traits and things to discuss about any Bond movie from any era. I enthusiastically joined in... until the discussion turned to who made a better Bond, Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig. Everyone agreed Daniel Craig was good, maybe not as much eye candy as Pierce Brosnan, but not bad on the eyes either, except me who has taken a weird aversion to him. I don't know what it is about some people that turns you off instantly. For eg., there is nothing wrong with Daniel Craig (atleast acc to popular opinion). He's a fairly decent actor who's no worse than the other male stars out there, he's not very bad-looking, a lot of people consider him very handsome, and intellectually, I know he does a decent Bond. I mean, you can't do worse than Timothy Dalton, in any case, right? So my brain tells me there's nothing to hate about him, cause the emotion I have is stronger than mere dislike, its not as strong as hate maybe, but its definitely getting up there. I pray I don't smack his face if ever I run into him somewhere (highly unlikely, so I'm safe there!).
I read somewhere that babies have a built-in evolutionary way of telling if someone is good-looking... they look for symmetry in the features and the expression in people's eyes. As far as symmetry goes, I can understand if the mathematical part of your brain likes that, and therefore if a face is completely unsymmetrical, we call that bad-looking. That makes perfect sense. So does the idea that the expression in a person's eyes appeals to your instincts or your emotions and you like people who smile with their eyes or dislike those who glare at you. But as far as actors are concerned, their every expression goes through a gamut of people, from the casting director to the cameraman to the editor before it winds up in your face, so why should this highly filtered input not cause anything but admiration. It mystifies me what exactly it is about certain faces that you like instantly (I guess we call it "clicking with someone") and what about other people drives you to violence unnecessarily. :)
For now, it remains a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes me to dislike actors like Daniel Craig and Raveena Tandon at first sight, without even considering their body of work. I guess I will cave under pressure and curiosity and end up watching "QofS" someday, but I donot believe I will enjoy the actor much.